The September 2020 Rabbit Hole
Well, it's October...so let's call it the "The Delayed Sept 2020 Issue"
Welcome to the not-quite-September-because-this-is-going-out-in-October issue of the Rabbit Hole, my digest of the favorite content I consumed over the past month.
This past month has been crazy because of work, because I turned a year older (!), but also because of the constant state of anxiety in the world. Here in the U.S., we have a toddler masquerading as a President in the White House, and his constant tirades and bullying enrage me to no end.
Amidst this dumpster fire we call a news cycle, I discovered a show (thanks to my brother, Mesh) that brought me an enormous amount of joy and relief. Ted Lasso is likely my favorite show of 2020. Starring and co-created by Jason Sudeikis, the premise is simple but absurd: American football coach gets hired to manage/coach a Premier League football (soccer) team in the UK, a sport he has no understanding of in a country he has never been. Cue lost in translation, chips-are-crisps-here, tea-is-gross-coffee-is-better hijinks.
But this show is so much more than that, and that is immediately apparent. First of all, every character is more than a caricature - Ted isn’t just a dumb Yank, he is unfailingly kind and considerate, even in the face of snark and mean remarks. Every character is lovable and layered and, as this Buzzfeed piece mentions, is the warm hug you didn’t know you needed.
As I watched the show (all the episodes for Season 1 are available on Apple+), I realized Ted Lasso is a masterclass in leadership. In an emotional intelligence seminar I’ve taken in the past (which is something we now recreate with our startup founders in Pakistan), we engage in a war game scenario called Prisoner’s Dilemma. In any high stress scenario, where two teams are separated in rooms and forced to make choices to get the highest possible score, it almost immediately devolves into either side trying to throw each other under the bus in an effort to win (I have played this game and facilitated it three times - it has never once gone another way). But that is not how you win, ultimately. In order to win, you have to play the long game, you must vote on the side of collaboration, even if our natural reaction is to strike back against people who strike you. It involves taking a mindset of abundance, versus one driven by scarcity.
This type of rationale is demonstrated in this television show over & over again, and it’s embodied in the character of Ted. I have many favorite parts of Season 1, but my favorite scene is when Ted is playing a game of darts, and there is a lot on the line (no spoilers), but it begins with Ted quoting Walt Whitman who said, “Be curious, not judgmental.”
You know, Rupert, guys have underestimated me my entire life, and for years I never understood why…and one day I was driving my little boy to school and I saw this quote by Walt Whitman…that said, “Be curious, not judgmental,” I liked that. So I get back in my car, I’m driving to work, and all of a sudden it hits me - all them fellas that used to belittle me, not a single one of them, curious. You know they thought they had everything figured out - so they judged everything, they judged everyone…because if they were curious, they would have asked questions - questions like, “Have you played a lot of darts, Ted?” To which I would have answered, “Yes sir…”
You can watch the whole scene below, it’s one of the many examples of leadership in the show:
I was pretty jazzed to discover that my secret bestie (slash favorite thinker/writer) Brene Brown agreed, and she interviewed Jason Sudeikis & Brendan Hunt from Ted Lasso for her podcast, Unlocking Us (if you like warm hugs, then this entire podcast series is another one of my favorites) to discuss this further. They delve into creativity, character development, and also leadership, and Brene’s geekiness about the show is really fun to listen to if you’re a fellow Ted Lasso fan (I, much like Brene, have also turned to my husband on more than one occasion in the past two weeks and said, “Well, Jay, what would Ted Lasso do?”)
I have been made to feel at times that there is no place for kindness in the world of venture capital & business; that it’s a dog-eat-dog world, and winners aren’t afraid to throw each other under the bus. I am often told that “I’m too nice,” and that statement is almost never delivered as a compliment. Kindness, empathy, and most importantly, curiosity, are who I am at my core, and I’ve struggled the past month, wondering if I’d have to give up parts of myself to succeed in the world I work in. It may sound stupid, but Ted Lasso pulled me out of a pretty dark place this month because it reminded me that I don’t need to change for this world; that if I’m in it to change things, then the long game involves always voting on the side of abundance, in staying curious, not judgmental.
Brene Brown, in her books, but also via this podcast, offers another one of my favorite reminders: “[The work we do…] It’s tough and tender, brave and afraid, all at the same time. Grit and grace. A strong back, soft front and wild heart has the capacity to hold all of this.”
Let that be a reminder to all of us as we move through the world, friends.
#WhatWouldTedLassoDo,
Kals